The Forbidden Hair Cut
Since Brian and I met, he has always had me cut his hair since I kind of remembered when I worked for a hair salon in highschool, I kind of got the jist of how you cut hair and so I took this on as one of my housewife responsibilities. As the children began to grow full heads of hair, he had me cut there hair too, and as time progressed, I have honestly gotten really good at cutting all four heads of hair.
I asked Brian one time if I could take Joseph down to have his hair cut, at this time, he was a bit of a terrible two and it was really difficult for me to cut his hair. My question was not well received by Brian, apparently when he was little, someone cut his ear and since then, he was very sensitive to the thought of a hair dresser/beautician, whatever the PC is now adays, of cutting one of his chidren's ears.
As the hair on Joseph continued to grow around the ears more and more, I decided one day while Brian was at work to take him down to Super Clips in Woodstock. I walked in and the boys started to cry, especially my oldest. "Hey Isaac, help me out son, you got to be the big boy for mamma, don't cry, your making me feel guilty." I said.
"But dad said they would cut our ears, I heard him tell you that, mom, you are NOT suppose to take us here!!" as he said authoritative.
Sweety, I replied, your dad is just having delusions of grandeur, in other words, he is going overboard with the hair cut issues. Isaac refused to go, while the ladies are standing there with the capes, so I get my terrible two Joseph, the one who really needs the hair cut to sit down in the chair.
"Well, I thought to myself, at least if I can get his shaggy hair cut around the ears, then I will feel like I accomplished something."
The lady cutting Joseph gets out the clippers, adult might I add, and starts the race, vroom, vroom.
"Excuse me, I said, what are you doing to my child. You act like there are ten people in the waiting room waiting for you and there isn't anyone, take your time please, it's his first hair cut."
'Yes, yes, she says, I am sorry, it's that I am so use to being fast, it's okay, we will take care of you and him, you will be happy, I promise."
I look her in the face, "Just whatever you do, don't cut his ears, seriously, take your time, we are in no rush." I said to her.
"Oh, I've never cut a childs ears, the chances of that happening, slim to none, mam, we will be done soon, sit down, you will be happy, I promise."
Thinking to myself, "I better be happy, b/c when Brian's finds out I took him to get his hair cut, I am going to have some explaining to do. I start to hear this voice in my head, "Melissa, you are disobeying your husband, you are going behind his back, you are being untrustworthy, he trust you to take care of the children...."
I look up and I can't believe what just happened, "Ouch, MAMMA, I want my mamma" Joseph says crying.
"What, I said, jumping up, what is it?" Already figuring out what happend, I said to the lady, "You cut his ear, what is wrong with you, you said you wouldn't cut his ear, I trusted you.!!!"
"Mam, this has never happened before, I promise, I am real sorry, as she cleans his ear off with tissue, she says, "I will go get some ointment and get a lollipop." she said very apologetic.
"Just give me my son, and you go get the ointment, and I will hold him until you get back, and don't worry about the lollipop right now. Just get him some ointment."
She comes back with gold bond and some ointment and Joseph is okay, but I can't put him back in the chair. He refuses to get back in the chair, but the good news is that she didn't cut him very bad, just a nip, but enough to notice and enough to really get me in some serous trouble with Brian. How am I going to explain what happened.
"Mam, she says, I feel so bad, here, $5.00 off your next visit, she says smiling. "
"Lady, do you have any idea what you've done to me, I am so in trouble with my spouse, I wasn't suppose to bring them here and get them hair cuts b/c my husband was afraid they'd get their ear cut, which I thought was absurd, but you just proved him right, and you know what, He is always right about everything and this is just another moment where he's right and I am wrong. I don't want your $5.00 coupon. Keep your Super Clips to yourself !!!"
We head back to the house, at the time, we lived in Town Lake and our house was way back in a subdivision, so I had some time to pray and think, think and pray, how would I ever explain this. I know, I am just not going to say anything. If he notices, I will tell him the truth, but if he doesn't notice then I will keep it to myself.
We get home, I check on Joseph's ear, it's looking better but it is still red. I encouraged him to keep the bandage on and we would take it off the closer Brian got to the house.
Brian gets home eventually, he asked how our day was, I looked at him and said smilig, "Okay, we had a great day, but really, How was your day honey bunny, sit down, can I get you something to drink, ice tea, cold lemonade with a twinkle in my eye. How about sitting there, isn't it time for your favorite show, I will get you some dinner. Let's elevate those feeties with a pillow, there there, Just enjoy and relax."
Brian looks at me with one eyebrow raise, "Melissa....what happened today?" You never want me to sit down and watch my favorite show. You usually tell me all about your day, how the kids are driving you up the wall, how you want to go somewhere. What is going on here?"
Isaac goes up to his dad, "Dad, I'll tell you what is going on here. Mom took us to get hair cuts. I refused dad, but she had Joseph sit in the chair and the lady cut his ear."
"Isaac, I said, how could...Brian buts in, "What!!! What!!! You didn't....Joseph, come here sweety. Let me see your ear. Oh my goodness, your ear is cut!!!"
Brian gets up from his seat, "How could you do this Melissa, I told you, slamming a magazine on the table, not to take the boys to get their hair cut...Why?"
I said slowly, "because they could get there ear cut and that would be a terrible thing because you had your ear cut and now your traumatized by this and you didn't want them to be traumatized. I am so sorry. I felt really bad, I was so upset with the lady, she had no right to cut his ear. I let her have it Brian!!"
"Let yourself have it too. That's it, I am not trusting you ever again to take them to get their hair cut, don't ever, promise me, don't ever do this again." he said sternly. I think he was about to cry.
"Oh, I promise, I really really promise, never again, not while they are little, I really felt bad, I felt convicted while it was happening, I am so sorry, our trust is broken, you trusted me and I violated our trust. Please forgive me." I said really sincere.
He forgave me and I have yet to take my children to a Super Cuts or Great Clips or anything for that matter, I cut there hair and have saved money and ears being cut. Most importantly, I have regained Brian's trust which is priceless in a marriage.
Reflection Q/A : I serious thought my spouse was really overreacting about the ear being cut, but it turned out, Joseph's ear did get cut. This is a very true story and it really spoke to me afterwards about trust. If God can trust with you little things, then he can trust with larger things, and I've seen this to be true in my life and my marriage.
Have you ever had a time in your life when you violated someone's trust and got told on, thinking the odds were against you? God has a way of speaking to us when we do things wrong. I heard God's voice speak to me clearly, and I ignored it. Listen to those voices of conviction, they are meaningful and can save you heartache or save your life. God speaks, we need to listen and be obedient.
I asked Brian one time if I could take Joseph down to have his hair cut, at this time, he was a bit of a terrible two and it was really difficult for me to cut his hair. My question was not well received by Brian, apparently when he was little, someone cut his ear and since then, he was very sensitive to the thought of a hair dresser/beautician, whatever the PC is now adays, of cutting one of his chidren's ears.
As the hair on Joseph continued to grow around the ears more and more, I decided one day while Brian was at work to take him down to Super Clips in Woodstock. I walked in and the boys started to cry, especially my oldest. "Hey Isaac, help me out son, you got to be the big boy for mamma, don't cry, your making me feel guilty." I said.
"But dad said they would cut our ears, I heard him tell you that, mom, you are NOT suppose to take us here!!" as he said authoritative.
Sweety, I replied, your dad is just having delusions of grandeur, in other words, he is going overboard with the hair cut issues. Isaac refused to go, while the ladies are standing there with the capes, so I get my terrible two Joseph, the one who really needs the hair cut to sit down in the chair.
"Well, I thought to myself, at least if I can get his shaggy hair cut around the ears, then I will feel like I accomplished something."
The lady cutting Joseph gets out the clippers, adult might I add, and starts the race, vroom, vroom.
"Excuse me, I said, what are you doing to my child. You act like there are ten people in the waiting room waiting for you and there isn't anyone, take your time please, it's his first hair cut."
'Yes, yes, she says, I am sorry, it's that I am so use to being fast, it's okay, we will take care of you and him, you will be happy, I promise."
I look her in the face, "Just whatever you do, don't cut his ears, seriously, take your time, we are in no rush." I said to her.
"Oh, I've never cut a childs ears, the chances of that happening, slim to none, mam, we will be done soon, sit down, you will be happy, I promise."
Thinking to myself, "I better be happy, b/c when Brian's finds out I took him to get his hair cut, I am going to have some explaining to do. I start to hear this voice in my head, "Melissa, you are disobeying your husband, you are going behind his back, you are being untrustworthy, he trust you to take care of the children...."
I look up and I can't believe what just happened, "Ouch, MAMMA, I want my mamma" Joseph says crying.
"What, I said, jumping up, what is it?" Already figuring out what happend, I said to the lady, "You cut his ear, what is wrong with you, you said you wouldn't cut his ear, I trusted you.!!!"
"Mam, this has never happened before, I promise, I am real sorry, as she cleans his ear off with tissue, she says, "I will go get some ointment and get a lollipop." she said very apologetic.
"Just give me my son, and you go get the ointment, and I will hold him until you get back, and don't worry about the lollipop right now. Just get him some ointment."
She comes back with gold bond and some ointment and Joseph is okay, but I can't put him back in the chair. He refuses to get back in the chair, but the good news is that she didn't cut him very bad, just a nip, but enough to notice and enough to really get me in some serous trouble with Brian. How am I going to explain what happened.
"Mam, she says, I feel so bad, here, $5.00 off your next visit, she says smiling. "
"Lady, do you have any idea what you've done to me, I am so in trouble with my spouse, I wasn't suppose to bring them here and get them hair cuts b/c my husband was afraid they'd get their ear cut, which I thought was absurd, but you just proved him right, and you know what, He is always right about everything and this is just another moment where he's right and I am wrong. I don't want your $5.00 coupon. Keep your Super Clips to yourself !!!"
We head back to the house, at the time, we lived in Town Lake and our house was way back in a subdivision, so I had some time to pray and think, think and pray, how would I ever explain this. I know, I am just not going to say anything. If he notices, I will tell him the truth, but if he doesn't notice then I will keep it to myself.
We get home, I check on Joseph's ear, it's looking better but it is still red. I encouraged him to keep the bandage on and we would take it off the closer Brian got to the house.
Brian gets home eventually, he asked how our day was, I looked at him and said smilig, "Okay, we had a great day, but really, How was your day honey bunny, sit down, can I get you something to drink, ice tea, cold lemonade with a twinkle in my eye. How about sitting there, isn't it time for your favorite show, I will get you some dinner. Let's elevate those feeties with a pillow, there there, Just enjoy and relax."
Brian looks at me with one eyebrow raise, "Melissa....what happened today?" You never want me to sit down and watch my favorite show. You usually tell me all about your day, how the kids are driving you up the wall, how you want to go somewhere. What is going on here?"
Isaac goes up to his dad, "Dad, I'll tell you what is going on here. Mom took us to get hair cuts. I refused dad, but she had Joseph sit in the chair and the lady cut his ear."
"Isaac, I said, how could...Brian buts in, "What!!! What!!! You didn't....Joseph, come here sweety. Let me see your ear. Oh my goodness, your ear is cut!!!"
Brian gets up from his seat, "How could you do this Melissa, I told you, slamming a magazine on the table, not to take the boys to get their hair cut...Why?"
I said slowly, "because they could get there ear cut and that would be a terrible thing because you had your ear cut and now your traumatized by this and you didn't want them to be traumatized. I am so sorry. I felt really bad, I was so upset with the lady, she had no right to cut his ear. I let her have it Brian!!"
"Let yourself have it too. That's it, I am not trusting you ever again to take them to get their hair cut, don't ever, promise me, don't ever do this again." he said sternly. I think he was about to cry.
"Oh, I promise, I really really promise, never again, not while they are little, I really felt bad, I felt convicted while it was happening, I am so sorry, our trust is broken, you trusted me and I violated our trust. Please forgive me." I said really sincere.
He forgave me and I have yet to take my children to a Super Cuts or Great Clips or anything for that matter, I cut there hair and have saved money and ears being cut. Most importantly, I have regained Brian's trust which is priceless in a marriage.
Reflection Q/A : I serious thought my spouse was really overreacting about the ear being cut, but it turned out, Joseph's ear did get cut. This is a very true story and it really spoke to me afterwards about trust. If God can trust with you little things, then he can trust with larger things, and I've seen this to be true in my life and my marriage.
Have you ever had a time in your life when you violated someone's trust and got told on, thinking the odds were against you? God has a way of speaking to us when we do things wrong. I heard God's voice speak to me clearly, and I ignored it. Listen to those voices of conviction, they are meaningful and can save you heartache or save your life. God speaks, we need to listen and be obedient.
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